Let The Christmas Countdown Begin!

Posted on by Mandy

Since becoming a parent, holidays have a way of sneaking up on me and I’m forever running around trying to finish up everything at the last minute. Not this year! I’m convinced that having this Christmas countdown clock staring me in the face here on my blog will help me stay fully aware of just how much time I have left to finish what needs to be done so I can relax during the holidays.

Yes indeed…this Christmas countdown clock will tell me how many days I have left to shop, meal plan, and pull it all together. This is sort of a personal experiment on my part, so I’ll post an update to this after the holidays and let you know if my countdown clock plan works. My goal is to be finished with everything except the cooking by December 20. It’s a lofty goal with me working full time, but I’m committed to seeing it happen.

So, all you holiday procrastinators, unite! Get yourself a Christmas countdown clock and you’ll have no more excuses.

Body Parts

Posted on by Mandy

While going through my son’s Halloween candy haul, I came across this lovely offering he received. 

body parts

My son was unsure of what it was, so I informed him it was a gummy ear, to which he replied, “Why would I want to eat that?”.

Why, indeed!

Church Ladies With Typewriters

Posted on by Mandy

I love good, clean funnies. Since it’s Sunday, I thought I’d share these.

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”.