I Have To Get This Off My Chest

Dear Mr. Weatherman,

All I can really say at this point is FAIL! That light dusting of
snow looks nothing like the 1-3 inches you promised and assured all of us we would get a snow day because of. I’m done
with you. Done! Your predictions mean nothing to me anymore.
We’re through.

Sincerely,

Mommy Cracked…who will never get her hopes up for a snow day ever, ever
again.

Dear Mother Nature,

Sweetheart, we need to talk. May I just ask HOW is it that my little
section of the great state of Mississippi gets NO significant snow, while you
dump it exactly 30 miles north and south of us every. single. time.? And
to tease us with beautiful, big snowflakes, only to turn off the snow faucet an
hour later with NO accumulation? You are a heartless tart!

Sincerely,

Mommy Cracked….who thinks you do this just for kicks. Snow in SOUTH
Mississippi over 3 times this year but not us? Really?! Really?

Dear Wycleff (Or whomever it was that came up with this idea…)

While the intentions of raising money for Haiti by re-doing We Are
The World are admirable and a cause I am definitely down with, What The Honk did you do to the song? I was not impressed at
all. At all. Or maybe I’m just too old school to appreciate
this.

Sincerely,

Mommy Cracked…who is probably the only other person in the world that
hates this new version.

Dear E.B.

Your Mommy feels just terrible that we didn’t make it to the Monster Truck
Rally tonight. We had a big weekend planned for you, and then Mommy got
sick. You’re totally OK with it because, bless your heart, your Daddy and
I never mentioned it to you at all (because we’d never hear the end of
it…which is good I suppose since we had to cancel), so you are completely
oblivious and happily playing Sponge Bob on the PlayStation. But
still. It’s your birthday week. You deserved this. I’m sorry,
and we promise to make it up to you in the near future with another fun trip in
which we won’t tell you about either.

Sincerely,

Mommy….Who loves you more than peanut butter.

Disclosure: These rants were brought to you by Sinus Infection from Hades and Antibiotic-Induced Stomach Issues. I did not receive a gift card from anyone for writing this, but I totally should.