Coping

Posted on by Mandy

To some, our mourning of Bonnie may seem ridiculous or overly dramatic. All I know for sure is that it hurts and our home seems empty without her.

So far Clyde is ok, we think. He is sticking a little closer than usual…sleeping right up next to me as opposed to the foot of the bed, and as I type this, perched atop the kitchen table while I’m blogging….Bonnie’s usual spot. When I left for work today I kept the television on with the volume turned down slightly so he’d have some sort of company…so maybe he wouldn’t feel so isolated. I’d give anything to know what was going on in that kitty head of his…does he truly understand? How is he feeling?

E.B. and I are coping in our own way, too. We talk about it alot, naturally because he is so curious and asks many questions. Friends and family have poured out their condolences. My aunt even gave us this stone to put on Bonnie’s final resting place:

Nightime is the toughest. Bonnie was literally always underfoot while I blogged and read email. Once she was finished checking out what I was doing she would curl up in the beanbag and settle in for the night. I could see her beanbag from my bed and always check in on her.

I’m trying really hard not to over-analyze her death. I know this happens, it’s just a part of life, it would have happened eventually. I am resolved to it all in those ways. But I can’t stop thinking about the “what ifs”. What if I hadn’t given in to her begging to be let out that night? What if I would have checked on her outside…could I have distracted her from going near the road? Why was she even near the road? It was so unlike her. But most of all, why oh why did the last thing I have to have said to her before I let her out be scolding her for her relentless begging to go out? That? I don’t know if I will ever forgive myself for.

Bonnie: 4/01- 8/30/09

Posted on by Mandy

I guess I always wondered what it would be like someday when we lost one of our cats. Bonnie and Clyde came to us on a hot July day in 2001 as small, playful kittens. They were a pair…on the run from who knows where….thus, their names.

This morning our neighbor brought Bonnie to me. She went out last night around 11 PM and she never came back. He found her near their home, by the road late last night while coming home. She had been hit and he was kind enough to remove her from further harm, wrap her gently in a garbage bag and lay her by our fence until morning. I went to bed last night worried about her and deep down I guess I knew something was wrong. She never not came when called.

Explaining to our son has been tough. Watching Clyde, our male cat and Bonnie’s brother and life-long companion sit beside her lifeless body, then pace, then sit some more has been absolutely heartbreaking.

And I can’t even begin to imagine our household with her absence. Bonnie, the one who curled up in bed with me for exactly 7 minutes (and she was done) every night, the one who nipped at my ankles when I was on the computer, who would bring me her fishing rod toy in her mouth and beg by loud meowing to play.

The one who loved nothing better than wallowing in the cool grass on a beautiful day.

I still keep looking out our door, thinking she will appear any minute.

I suppose I should be grateful for the amazing 8 years she spent with us, and I am. I suppose I should also be relieved that we never had to wonder what happened to her, for she’ll rest forever in a shady spot underneath the tree my son plays under. But right now, it’s all of very little consolation.

My sweet Bonnie Belle, oh how we will miss you.

Common Sense Disclosure

Posted on by Mandy

There has been quite a buzz in the blogosphere in the last several weeks about bloggers needing to be open and honest about whether or not they receive free products from PR companies or are paid for the posts they write. I’ve been reading up on several opinions on the matter and decided I would explain my personal philosophy on it and exactly how I run things here when it comes to dealing with disclosure.

Yes, I do run ads in my sidebar that generate money. As of right now I participate in Google Adsense. Am I getting rich from these ads? No, absolutely not.
Paid Posts- I do accept payment for some of my posts and before you say. “AHA!!”, let me explain this also. I do not charge a company for a review of their product when I have personally been given a product to try myself and/or give away to my readers. The only time I charge is to publish promotional content or give my thoughts on a website or a service and that charge is simply for the time it takes me to review that and post about it. I do not charge inflated prices for this and more importantly, I will never accept payment for a post that does not offer relevant and worthy content to my readers, period. I gauge this decision by asking myself if a particular post would be something I would find helpful or informative were it published at another mom blog. Am I getting rich from this? Again, absolutely not. These posts are few and far between as of now and my personal content will always be what I am most interested in posting here.

Product Reviews- Yes, I do occasionally receive products from companies to review here on my blog. Again, what I accept to review has to be something I care about and is family friendly and worthy of a post. I do not charge for these posts where a product we can try/giveaway is received BUT some places I do reviews for do occasionally throw in a gift card as thank you along with the product. I’ve been extremely fortunate to work with some great companies and haven’t received anything that has been a pure “dud” as far as products go and I think that is due to carefully considering what to accept to try. I don’t accept everything that is offered to me because sometimes I just can’t use it, period. More importantly, please know you will (and have) always read my honest opinion of any product I try, good or bad.

BUT….BUT….BUT…. (and this is where I have to roll my eyes at some of the uproar)

For crying out loud, PLEASE do your own research on things you read about on blogs and DO NOT buy a product just because “Becky Blogger” said to. I know bloggers are influential voices for products now more than ever, and this is not a bad thing. I’ve also ran across posts about women feeling duped because “Becky Blogger” said a certain crib/stroller/whatever that cost $300 was the bomb dot com and they went out and bought something that ended up being nothing but crap. It’s these stories I have to shake my head at because this is where common sense should come into play. My suggestion? Read as many reviews on a product as you can, and not just from bloggers who received the product for free. Go to the store and test it out if at all possible. And most importantly, make sure whatever you buy has a return policy you can personally live with. This is how we do things here at my house, whether it’s inexpensive or high end purchases.

So what DO I do with the money generated here? If you’ve read my blog for a period of time, you know I like change. I would say that 99% of the money I receive here goes into paying another blogger for her time and talent to change my blog template or header. I also donate to various causes and things going on around the blogosphere and pay membership dues for other online forums I am a part of. So in a sense, any money I make goes right back into the great online pie in the sky. The products we receive are actually used by us and what we are finished using/have outgrown (books, clothing, etc.) is donated elsewhere. We do not live high on the hog because of my blog. (Just typing that made me laugh out loud) To make it in the real world my husband and I both work and don’t rely on anything from this blog to pay our way. This is simply a passionate hobby of mine with a few great perks, period.

The bottom line? If I have personally deceived any of my readers in any way from any reviews or informational posts I have made here because you didn’t know the facts behind it, I sincerely apologize. It was not my intention and after careful thought and consideration over many, many posts I’ve been reading in the blogosphere about disclosure, I have added a button in my link bar that says “Disclosure” where you will find my policy about it and this post.

I would love to know your thoughts on disclosure, though. Please feel free to leave a comment. I promise I am reading and listening.