E.B.: “Hey Mama, why did dat man crash his car? Hey, Mama, Are we goin’ to da shoparama today? I want to buy some toys and you can go play golf with Pawpaw when you be good and Hey, Mama, we take a nap at school and I want a Lunchable because that’s what Riley…

Hello Internets, It’s been almost 2 weeks since the Cracked House was graced with my presence. I immediately made the master’s bedroom my own private little getaway and have informed them that no, I most certainly will not be coming out of said bedroom (unless that big white male cat thing they call my brother…what…