On Mother’s Day, our rather large maternal side of my family decided that instead of the women having to cook on their special day, we would all go out to eat.  We all gathered at my grandmother’s house and piled up in three or four cars.  In my car, I had E.B., two of my younger cousins (ok, so they’re in college, but I remember when they were born) and my cousin J’s fiance.  E.B. begged to hear “Chant” on the CD player.  It’s his favorite, and I must say the kid has great taste.

My CD collection spans the 80’s and 90’s, with CD purchases ending abruptly somewhere around 1999.  I suppose it’s because I got married then and also, downloading music had become huge at that time.  If you were to peek inside, you’d see everything from early 80’s compilation CDs (think Duran Duran, the Cars, David Bowie), the hair band phase,  gangster rap, finally rounding out with grunge and pop.  I pretty much got into every type of music imaginable back then, except country.  I just could never fully embrace it, save for Garth Brooks and Alan Jackson (HUGE back then). 

Anyway, as “Chant” started to play, my cousins fell out laughing wondering what in the heck that “trippy” song was that was playing.  Was it some sort of “moodscapes” CD?  The howls continued in the backseat as I asked them HOW they could have never heard THIS song…OMG, it was huge back in the day….I was a senior in high school and this song was just cutting edge and so different when it first came out

…at one point….I was a senior in high school…at one point.

It will be 20 years ago next year that I graduated from high school.  Bless their little hearts, my cousins (and fiance) hadn’t even been BORN when most of those songs were popular. 

 Duh!

So they listened to E.B.’s favorite song and by the time it ended we were at the restaurant and they were more than happy to escape the torture that was 90’s music.  The real name of the “Chant” song he loves so much is “Sadness, Part I” by Enigma from the Mtv Party to Go 2 CD. You know, back when CDs were first hitting the scene, replacing my beloved casette tapes. *sigh*

Real cutting edge 90’s music, right?

Last week as I read our local Sunday newspaper, I was in awe over the many day camps and summer enrichment activities being offered in our small town this year.  You name it, it was probably there in all of the many inticing ads.  Baseball camp…swimming lessons….tutoring lessons…art lessons.  I’m really excited to get E.B. involved in some of these things and wish I would have had more choices like this when growing up.

When I was younger, there was always a story week at the Library, a babysitting course, and of course, Vacation Bible School at church.  How I would have loved a drama camp, a playwriting class (I put on many backyard productions in my younger days!), or something along those lines.  As a child, I was always writing and acting.  Except for the acting, some things never change.

What are your summer plans for your children?

I’ve been a long-time listener to Dave Ramsey ,probably the most trusted source of everything financial I have ever run across in my many quests for learning how to budget.  I think at some point in our adult lives we’ve all come to realize we probably don’t manage our finances as well as we should.  I can remember several times listening to the Dave Ramsey show in my car and actually getting mad because Dave was striking a nerve with me.  Even when I worked full time as a teacher and my husband and I were bringing in a very decent income, we still blew our money on crap.  Now that I work for far less money than I could be making, we’ve made some major changes in our lifestyle, and I’ll admit it was painful.  At first.

Last night it finally hit me that I felt good.  Really good, physically and mentally, than I have in years.  I didn’t go on a crash diet and lose 50 pounds.  All we did was sell our house.  As I noticed a spring in my step at work today, I realized that the stress of worrying over money had been the number one source of why life seemed like such a struggle most of the time.  It has robbed me of sleep, peace of mind, and many tears.

So, in honor of feeling like I’ve taken back some control over my life, I thought I’d pen a letter to Dave Ramsey, right here on my blog.  He won’t ever see it, but if it helps one other person stuck in a mortgage nightmare, then I’m glad I could be of help.

Dear Dave,

When I would hear you tell a caller in financial straits to “sell the house”, my eyes used to roll so far back in my head I thought they would get stuck.  People have to have a place to live….a home is your identity and, well….it’s home.

Then my husband and I realized what a financial drain it is to carry a high mortgage on a home, the upkeep involved in preserving said home, and that selling was our only hope of getting back any financial control over our lives.  I’ll admit my husband was fully on board with this way before I was.

It took 9 months, but our home sold.  The home my son hit so many growing milestones in.  The home where one of our beloved cats is buried in the backyard under a tree, the home where we made so many great memories.  I won’t lie and say there were no tears from me as we closed the door for the very last time.  It was tough, but we did what we had to do.

We decided to rent an apartment for the time being until we decide what to do next as far as living arrangements and a funny thing has happened.  Our apartment is not Park Avenue, but it’s safe and clean and, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve just about fallen in love with it.  It has everything we need with no yard to mow and we have more time on the weekends as a family because we’re not slaving away at yardwork.  My son keeps telling me over and over how much he likes our new apartment.  I also feel more free and alive than I have in years because the stress of home ownership has been lifted from my shoulders.

You were right, Dave.  When I thought of selling our home, I vowed to go kicking and screaming away from it.  I worried about what others would think about us, I dreaded change, and I just plain didn’t want to give it up for the unknown.  However, the unknown has been a wonderful change for us, the world didn’t end, and I have you to thank for giving me a good kick in the pants to realize that.

Sincerely,

Mommy Cracked