If I ever mention the thought of having a yard sale on my blog again, will someone please point me to this post and then beat me over the head?
I’ve spent the last week or more cleaning out and decided to switch things up a bit and have a yard sale on Friday afternoon. I figured it wouldn’t be as hectic as far as setting up and that was really the only day I’d have available for awhile to do it anyway.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Yes, even though you state in the paper that the sale will start at NOON, people will STILL come and knock on your door starting at 9 AM with a litany of excuses as to why THEY should be able to get a preview of your goods before starting time. (I have to work…I’m on my way out of town…..blahblahblah)
2. Don’t even think of trying to set up your tables without backup. When you start setting up tables, they smell blood and will descend on your lawn demanding to know when it will start and just hang around until it does. Then the grabbing commences.
3. People will really shine their behinds at yard sales.
One shopper was so anxious to try on a skirt that she literally showed God and everyone her underwear attempting it. Seriously, cars started slowing down as they drove by and more than one driver got an eyefull. I could have died.
We also had a man ride by that recognized a woman shopping at my yard sale and he rolled down his window and obnoxiously screamed, “Jay-netta…..you know you got enough s*** at yo’ house already…put dat s*** down, guhl! You don’t be needin’ that f****** s****!!! BWAAHAHAHAAAA”. And then he sped off leaving a yard full of speechless people. Jay-netta just laughed and said, “He so crazy! He know he ain’t s***.”
Additionally, one woman set aside something on my sidewalk she was buying while she continued to shop. Another woman walked over to look at it (she didn’t know it was claimed already) and I thought the first woman was going to have a coronary for the clueless woman even daring to have the audacity to look “at her s****”. (Her words, not mine. Y’all know I don’t cuss on this blog, but Jimney Cricket did I ever get an earfull today.)
And did I mention it was 97 degrees in the shade while all of this took place?
Is this just in Mississippi or do people act like this everywhere else at yard sales? I’m thinking it’s something only we Mississippians can be so proud of.
I love this. I forwarded the url to all my friends to spread the laughs around. This makes me want to have a garage sale so I can get some free entertainment.
I must say here in Florida, people are the same way. My friend and I go to garage sales every Sat. morning but more as an "outting" rather then to get the best deals on other peoples stuff. We get coffee, leave the kids at home and take $20 bucks or so. We do however always encounter this ONE maniac who should not have a drivers license! It's amazing….
i would not know where to even start with this story! so funny! and further proof why i DON'T do garage sales!
Sweet. Are you sure you weren't holding that yard sale in my neighborhood? Different state, same people. 🙂
Oh. My. Gah. I laughed so friggin' hard. That totally rocked. And yes, thats pretty much everywhere. LOVE it!
The worst is the ones that scope out when you're done, and want you to give them all of it FOR FREE. Or even worse than THAT is the ones who rifle through your trash, just in case you DID throw away stuff you didn't sell! MY TRASH!!! As in, the FOOD stuff. If I'm throwing away items that aren't food, they AREN'T in my trash bin! And the mess, OMG! Uh, thanks dude?
I'm up north and had every crazy within 30 miles when I had a yard sale. I think they all come out of the woodwork when they see a sale.
Hopefully you at least made some money!
OMG…way to hold the garage sale in the heat;)
This is hilarious. My version of the inner circles of hell include camping and garage sales.
Nope. The same things happen in Texas too. I can't believe you thought you could start it at noon though. In Texas 8 AM (might as well start early 'cuz they will be a-knockin') means 6 AM.
The last time I had a yard sale – about five years ago – I decided I'd never do that again. I'd much rather haul it to Goodwill.
Wow! Jaynette was kinda hard core. I would have cried my eyes out w/embarrassment. But, I guess if you actually know someone who would roll by and yell obscenities at you in a public venue, not in a mean way, but in a this is normal and most likely funny way, then you probably have a pretty high tolerance for embarrassment. Maybe she's a mom. My skin has hardened quite a bit since motherhood. I hardly bat an eye when my kids start throwing their version of obscenities at me when we are at places like the grocery store. It's when we go to preschool that I start to sweat. Nice blog!
Too funny! And oh so true! Same thing happens in central IL as well. Apparently it's no holds barred when it comes to yard sales.
partymix25(at)hotmail(dot)com
Oh, my goodness! That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I've never been to a yard sale that was quite that entertaining, but we have nuts up here too.
This post is hilarious, Mandy! Garage sales can get pretty mean, vile, crass and, at times, FUNNY, as yours did!
Great post!
Too funny! Every time I have a rummage I vow never again but I always seem to forget my vow every year!
I think you just scared me out of the neighborhood garage sale we're suppose to be doing next week.
Oh my! That was FUNNY!
and mostly because I know it's true!
People go NUTS at yard sales. I swore years ago to never have one again. I donate stuff now. So much easier! 🙂
Wow, thanks for the warning… I may never attempt a garage sale again in fear of attracting the most unkempt people in the neighboor to literally "oogle your goodies."
we were innocently cleaning out our garage one Saturday morning, and had to fend off people offering to buy our stuff. We finally put a sign out that read, "This is not a garage sale"
ROFL!!!!!! Ok this post made my day. I don't do yard sales anymore either. Those ppl are C-RAZY!
Dat be how day do it here in loooosiana too, guh.
No kidding. We have learned that if we have a yard sale that we actually have to put up a yellow ribbon surrounding the premises to keep people out until the yard sale or else they will dig in the box you are holding while you are trying to set up two hours before the thing actually starts.
Then, I hate how they talk you down from $1 to $0.25 when they are loaded with cash. AND they expect you to make change for that dollar. But, the worse part for me is the fact that they pull all of this sweaty, nasty money out of their bras, panties, socks, shoes, and other crevices that I dare not think about.
Yeah, I'm done with garage sales. Goodwill here I come.
Nope. I'm in the suberbs of chicago and it was the same thing!! And don't forget the "hagglers." I had some beautiful pottery bar window panels UNOPENED with the $39.99 price tags on them marked $5. A lady offered me 50 cents each. Are you kidding me????
I've run into some interesting people at yard sales, but that's a lot for one day! People are crazy. LOL!
Lol, I thought everyone in the South was prim and proper? 😉
That is way too funny. We do family garage sales, that way we have a team to witness the crazies!
Oh my goodness, I am sooo laughing right now. I don't know that I have ever been to quite such an entertaining yard sale. Sorry I missed it.
I can't believe people actually knock on your door about your stuff. I wouldn't even stop if you had nothing out yet.
Come on people, there is yard sale etiquette. Right?