Beep Beep! All aboard the struggle bus! That’s the type of week and a half it’s been for me, but I think I am maybe…hopefully…emerging out of this. I always get a little bit of the holiday blues each year. It finally kicked in last week. It’s not as bad as years past. I just miss loved ones who have passed, and it seems like the world is in this mad rush. I try so hard not to get sucked up into it. I’ve been working on it.
Quieting the Noise
I decided to take a break from Facebook last week, and it has so far held up. I used to take little breaks, but curiosity would get the best of me, and I’d always go back to look. I just noticed that my feed was filled with ads, pages I followed (but didn’t necessarily care for anymore), and people I’m friends with but am not close with. I was more annoyed with my daily scrolling and began feeling “less than.” I would honestly close my Facebook account, but it’s how my son’s class parents communicate information, and our neighborhood watch page is there. I did find a workaround to get notifications when a post is made in these groups. I can click the notification, and it takes me directly to the group. No need to scroll a feed!
My online life was getting too noisy. I want to read ALL the blogs. I want to scroll ALL the feeds (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook). I want to look at ALL the sales and join ALL the groups. I’ve finally gotten it through my thick skull that I can’t do it ALL. So, this week I read a few posts from the blogs I enjoy the absolute most and pressed “mark all read” on my blog reader. I stopped looking at Facebook. I picked up physical books and read. I listened to relaxing music. I made lists.
Next Year, I’ll…
I was reading Deb’s post about how she was making a list of things she will do for next Christmas and chuckled because this is a list I started a week ago. I always mean to be more efficient and do some things differently for the holidays, and then I forget. I swear I’m going to budget better, cook more Christmas goodies, have all my shopping done early, and then I don’t. I don’t know why I expect different results when I don’t do anything differently.
That’s really become a theme of my life that I want to change. All the list-making, wishing, and dreaming won’t get me anywhere until I change my mindset and actually get UP and DO. I’ve been thinking deeply about this.
Thankful
I picked up a copy of One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp for a whole 10 cents at a thrift store a couple of weeks ago.
It’s a book I always meant to read and never got around to purchasing. I’ve read, and I’ve cried. I’ve learned some things, and I have started my own list of a thousand gifts. I think it’s the best 10 cents I’ve ever spent. I needed to be reminded that beauty is all around me, and I can be thankful even for the hard things.
So what’s my point with this post? I don’t know. I guess to admit that sometimes the holidays can bring about all the feelings and that it’s ok to retreat inside yourself a little to help find peace. I used to think self-care was a little too indulgent for my taste, but I’ve learned that even I need this so badly. We all need time to quiet our minds and recharge. A few years ago, I posted how our holidays have scaled down significantly from years past. It certainly helps. How are your holiday preparations going? Are you taking time for yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Right there with you some days, Mandy. The holidays are tough sometimes, such a mix of emotions, missing loved ones and yet trying to be jubilant. I often find myself laughing and crying in the same breath. And Facebook, well, social media as a whole, is a trap. I really try to stay off of it as much as possible, but like you said, there are a few groups that communicate that way, so it’s tough. I think I may need to check out that book…10 cents is a bargain, but it sounds like it’d be worth it for me to pay a little more!! Merry Christmas and thanks for the post.
Thanks so much for stopping in, Kim. I “get” everything you described about how you feel during the holidays. It’s a delicate balance of happiness and sadness sometimes, for sure. I hope your holidays were wonderful!
I am definitely an early planner for the holidays as my holiday spirit hits early right after Thanksgiving and I decorate like mad, watch all my favorite holiday movies, get all the gifts bought and wrapped so I’m almost always left with nothing to do these last few weeks before Christmas but I do that on purpose because once that excitement of the season starts to go I don’t feel like doing anything! LOL. I definitely get a bit of the winter blues right around this time of year and I’ve just learned that’s kind of my “thing.” I can’t even blame the hecticness of the season because December isn’t very hectic in our house but I think it’s more just the endless lists I have running in my head to make sure I’m not forgetting anything that gets exhausting (that and trying like crazy to keep everyone healthy which never happens anyway!).
You are smart to get ahead of everything, Joanne! And yes…keeping everyone healthy is also difficult during this season. My mom is just now getting over the virus again. I’ve had to be her hands and feet to help her finish up her shopping. Thanks so much for stopping in!
I could not believe I was reading and thinking…this is me! I’ve been experiencing all those things too, Mandy! But no twitter, instagram, etc. Facebook has been enough. Plus, this Christmas has just not ‘felt right’ and I have wanted to decorate all over the house and front porch that greets people, as well as all the cookie baking and need to make more fudge to gift around to people, etc. etc. I was talking to the Lord about it all the other day and told Him that I thought I needed an attitude adjustment….again. It had been awhile. I needed peace inside. Well, I’d like to say that I have thrown myself into more decorating & baking but nope. I have the sense of peace tho. It’s like I don’t care about getting it all done and I don’t feel guilty. I am keeping my Facebook because like you, I need it for certain people. But starting this blog has been so fun and am meeting amazing ladies and it is way better than FB! I do love your blog!! Now that I subscribed (which I discovered what that meant) I can keep up with your posts. Yay!
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, Sandy! I need an attitude adjustment as well. This season is just so…everything. Haha! It has definitely felt “off” this year, although I can’t pinpoint exactly why. It just brings about all the feelings. I also love your blog, too! I’ve got your blog in my feed reader, so I never miss a post. Thanks so much for stopping in!
Thank you so much for subscribing, Sandy! I have yours in my feed reader too, so I never miss a post. I love reading about your life in Alaska!
Oh, I know your feelings, Mandy. I also read a lot of blogs and would like to respond to everyone. But every now and then I hit the brakes for a week.
I regularly take a week’s Instagram break. And once a year for a month (in the summer). That helps me.
I don’t celebrate Christmas the way many people do. That also hurts. No Christmas tree, no Christmas messages, just real candles, some ceramic winter houses with a candle, and I send Christmas cards.
Still, I experience this time as stressful. My father-in-law is on palliative care and we don’t know how much time he has left. It’s busy at my husband’s place of work and it seems to some customers that they don’t think a new year is coming. Everything must be finished before the turn of the year.
I take more time to pray. And it also helps me to really read from a paper Bible again and think (and write about what I read) That is helping me.
Greetings from the Netherlands.
Merry Christmas!
Aritha, I will certainly keep your father-in-law in my prayers. I hope your husband’s work has calmed down a little bit. I also love to read from a paper Bible. I love that you write about what you read as well. That’s an idea for me as I go into this next year. I also think how you celebrate Christmas sounds lovely. Sometimes all the extra “stuff” attached to the holidays becomes a little overwhelming for me.
Sometimes it is necessary to step back and take a break from all that’s going on. A little retreat for peace and quiet. I used to prepare for next Christmas right after that year’s Christmas, shopping the after-Christmas sales for the following year’s gifts! LOL. Not anymore. This year, especially, with a good friend passing away at the end of November and my daughter sick and not sure of coming home for the holidays, I’m not ready with any gifts!
I wish you and your loved ones all the best this Christmas. May you enjoy the peace and love that this season is all about.
Ah, that Deb. She’s a brilliant one, isn’t she? hehe
Yeah, I have notes paper clipped to the last page of my wall calendar every year, things I liked or didn’t like about each holiday or season in general. It’s just a little reminder to myself of where my mindset was at that time, and where I hope it will be next time. Notes about things like ‘Minimal decorations this year, hated it,’ or ‘Need to buy Thanksgiving napkins,’ or random things like that. I don’t always follow my own advice but at least it lets me know what I felt was good or bad the previous year.
Self care…don’t get me started. LOL I’m all for taking a step back when you need to, but the whole ‘Self care first!’ movement has added to the sad and whiny society we’ve become. Seems like everyone just ditches responsibilities and obligations now with the excuse of ‘Self care first!’
I don’t really have any Christmas spirit this year but I’m relieved to find it’s not really bringing me down like it usually does. I’m quite sure I’ll feel it Christmas Day when the boys are home and were opening gifts, eating good food, and playing games. If it doesn’t show up before then, I feel okay with that this year.
Oh, the whole social media thing taking up too much time and attention . . . I hear ya! I’d LOVE to just ditch Facebook but it’s the one last place I have for getting rare and random bits of family news. 99% of the time nobody posts anything worth looking at, and I think they could all benefit from leaving FB too, but that occasional pic of a niece or nephew that I don’t otherwise see keeps me hanging on. I much prefer scrolling Instagram, where I don’t know people, but that sucks me in more than FB. And YouTube, I can only take it in very picky small doses. Most of the channels I try to watch are so over the top, it just angers me and causes anxiety. Seriously, who lives that way? I’d much rather see REAL life, tight budget, decorations reused from last year, home is not total sterile white for best filming. And those ‘decorate with me’ videos? Ha! The way they carefully arrange a throw blanket to look cozy and used, at just the perfect angle across the corner of the couch . . . puh-leeze.
Yep, to step away and read a real book is the best idea.