On nights that I have trouble sleeping, I get sucked into infomericals and cannot quit watching them even though they replay themselves in loop mode over and over. It’s like I’m afraid I’m going to miss something if I change the channel. I suppose this is how they make their sales. Luckily for me, once I am in bed I am just too darned lazy to reach for the phone and “ORDER NOW!!”.
Saturday night was one of those bad, restless nights. In my defense, I had receieved a Decadron shot for this horrible sinus infection that will never end and was warned it could probably mess my sleeping up real bad. And honey, it wasn’t just the sleeping. I woke up at 1:30 A.M. feeling “Deca-drunk”, sweating, and just feeling gross all over. Lovely. I figured the TV would help lull me back to sleep, but instead I saw infomercials I had never seen before. By the time 5:30 A.M. rolled around, I was convinced I had to have the following:
Ouidad’s Curl Confidence– Yes, I straighten my naturally wavy hair everyday. Apparently, all I need is some Curl Confidence and I can have lucious, touchable curls instantly. Must remember this for my Christmas list.
Zumba– Apparently, all I need to do to lose weight is ditch my workout (*snort!* what workout??) and “join the party!!”. Everyone on the infomercial was skinny with “Situation abs”, save for this one overweight, middle-aged woman. Bless her heart, she had gone from a size 22 to a 14. I’m proud for her, but if I’m going to Zumba my way to being skinny, I want to at least be a size 2, ok? The music is enough to make me want to poke my eyes out anyway.
NuWave Oven– I can bake, broil, BBQ, steam, and roast delicious, healthy meals 50% faster than a conventional oven, reduce the fat of regular cooking, and all with EASY clean-up! This reminds me of the George Foreman Grill, and I can tell you personally what sweet memories I have of the really easy clean-up on that one.
Slap Chop– OK, I’ll admit that I’ve seen this one before, but the guy in the commercial cracks. me. up. Anybody that can say, “You’re going to love my nuts” with a straight face is hysterical in my book.
When my son was a few weeks old, he’d sleep for a whopping ten minutes at a time. So I watched a lot of late-night and early-morning TV around that time.
Around 2:00 or 3:00 a.m., Nick at Night would eventually stop the Charles in Charge and Gimme a Break reruns. It seems like the only other channel that was still on showed back to back episodes of CSI. That led me to my computer one night to look up the requirements to be a forensic scientist. This, from the woman who still has never watched Old Yeller because it’s too sad.
So I had to watch the infommercials. They are surprisingly effective. I think it’s because anyone who is up that time of night is naturally vulnerable – sleep deprived, sick.
I’m glad you stayed strong!
PS
I thought I was the only one who cracked up at that Slap Chop guy!
I took one zumba class and really enjoyed it. I’d like to go again soon. I’ve always wanted a slap chop. I never even watch infomercials. I think I did, once upon a time, before kids.
I love me some infomercials! It’s a pillow. It’s a pet. It’s a pillow pet!
Kas