I think becoming an adult and being in the “real world” has jaded me somewhat. I’m practical beyond the norm, I don’t get my hopes up about anything, and I prefer to be told the sobering truth than have sunshine piped in, if you know what I mean. While these aren’t necessarily unflattering traits to have, it’s also a little sad that I don’t allow myself to dream a little more…to expect the good in life…just to be child-like and take a freaking chill pill every once in a while.
A few nights ago E.B. and I were looking through a Target Holiday Toy catalog that had come in the mail that day. E.B. was excitedly oohing and ahhing and “LOOK MAMA LOOOK’ing!!!!!!” at all the bright, beautiful toys. He especially made a big fuss over a toy which he is way too young for and that was way too expensive. He was pointing and saying, “LOOK MAMA!!!”, and I sweetly replied, “I see that! Isn’t it beautiful? Too bad Santa Claus can’t afford that…”.
My MOM: “Mandy! Don’t say that to him!”
ME: “What? That it’s too expensive? I’m just being truthful…”
MOM: “You’re not supposed to tell him that…just let him dream.”
And then I remembered looking through the big Sears Wishbook as soon as I was old enough to know what a Sears Wishbook was. How I’d circle everything I wanted Santa to bring, no matter the cost or how ridiculous it was that a girl would want a He-Man figurine set or a skateboard. I’d also dog ear the pages so “Santa” could know exactly where to look. I dreamed big. There was no limit to my wishing or circling or dog earing.
And then I felt like crap. In my mind, I had reasoned he was only three…he doesn’t understand about recessing economies, unemployment rates, or drastically cutting unnecessary expenses. He doesn’t understand age limits on toys…that his dad would not be too understanding of his desire for the My Little Pony, or that he would not be getting everything he wanted. He couldn’t possibly understand at three, so why even censor myself?
But he can sense things. And soon, he WILL catch on to negativity and the fact that it’s sometimes a cruel world out there and that it’s not all sunishine, Polly Pockets and Wii gaming systems. And I decided right then that I don’t want to be one more contributer to that negativity. I wanted him to dream big. Those tough lessons will come soon enough. Seeing wonder and magic in his three year old eyes won’t ever come around again.
Yesterday the Wal-Mart Holiday Toy Catalog came in. E.B. and I crashed on the couch and oohed and ahhed and “LOOK MAMA LOOK’ed!!!!!!!” for a long, long while. We even dog eared the pages.
It’s a hard thing to do, but I think you took the right road. And remember, come Christmas morning, they aren’t going to be thinking about what they didn’t get (at least not at this age). My stepson had a fit when he turned about 14. We bought him a ham radio one year for Christmas (not a cheap gift, but he had recently gotten his ham radio license). He wanted a Playstation at the time and threw quite a fit about not getting what he wanted. We should have taken back the radio. He even had a friend who suggested he sell the ham radio and buy what he wanted! Good thing he didn’t try!
Mandy,
You really would be surprised at how much kids can adapt! They are very resourceful. I have six so Christmas was usually $100 each total including those red hanging thingys. But the last four years have been…uh, very, very trying. Divorce, remarraige, cancer,anyhow you get my drift. The kids all handled everything terrific. At first they didn’t understand when I explained that “things are tight” but really all they wanted is me to be happy,honestly.
At three is the PERFECT time to limit gift giving. We went overboard with the oldest. that created problems for us not him.
The problem is atschool. What’d you get for Christmas? I just try to concentrate on the true meaning of Christmas and the attitude that comes with it and the gift giving is just a symbol.
Sorry I’m rambling…I really came over to thank you for the follow! Yikes..and then I wrote a BOOK!
You strike me as a wonderful mom!
I remember the Sears book! It was awesome.
It’s hard not to let the negativity become a part of our daily life. Something I have been trying to work on…even when saying ‘no’.
Had to wipe a little tear from my eye. Great post! I think we all feel like that at one point or another.
I was looking at that same Target Holiday catalog with my toddler. It was so much fun. Until the 100th time looking thru it!
it’s important to have dreams…
wow this is a great post! i feel all the emotions and agree and I am even guilty of doing or saying the same things. it’s rough times right now, that’s for sure. you’re a good mommy…and human.
ever single thing my son says he wants i say “let’s put it on your christmas list!” I SURE HOPE he doesn’t expect them all! lol…they all have big eyes but are greatful for even the smallest things.
This has been hard for me. I’ve had to slowly cut back on so many things since being laid off and my son seems to be getting the shortest end of the stick.
yea, how about that little camera,,sweet huh,,,go to my bowzart site and see ellie the little cutie I used to keep:)
huugggs!
Leigh
(sigh) Glad it’s not just me squashing childhood fantasies over the Christmas wish list. When my kids swoon over the catalogs, I mentally figure how much I’ll need to cover their wishes, am instantly filled with dread, and then remember that all wishes aren’t meant to come true all the time. Otherwise, what would we wish for?
Great post, and timely also. The Target toy book arrived at our house last week. I had Miss R take a peek at it to see if there was something she wanted for Christmas and she saw Dora and the Pegasus and her eyes grew wide and she had the hugest smile on her face as she said “Mommy look at this! I want this for Christmas!” So guess who made a special trip to Target this weekend to grab a special little girl Dora, even though we had already finished our Christmas shopping for the girls? You got to keep that magic alive.
I totally remember doing that with the Sear’s catalog when I was a kiddo! I think I circled almost everything;)
Good Job. You’d be surprised at what all he is picking up at the young age of just 3 years old. Don’t underestimate him. It’s all done on a subconscious level but I think you turned that situation around quiet well. I’ll say it again. Good Job!
LOL first off love the Christmas sucks book! How funny is that? My dad and I always said we are gonna build a log cabin and focus on family and not comercialism. I too have become jadedover the years and forget that somethimes little ones need to have that belief so I raise my glass of hot cocoa to you in being able to make it magical over a new book!
I love it…. The kids are so cute at that age and they do dream big. I like that you want him to dream big. My 5 year old dreams really big and circles everything in the catalog as long as it’s not a girl toy anyway. I love his excitement for the holidays.
you pulled at my heart strings…just this weekend, hubs and i were talking about the same thing…and decided that it is not our kiddos fault that they are growing up in the time they are, and that we should not rob them of the dreaming that we had as kids…cause let’s face it, i am sure our parents were thinking the same thing! 🙂
so glad you had some dreaming time on the ocuch with him!
thanks for stopping by!
how quickly we do forget to let them dream and wish. we want that for them, especially as they get older and start making important decisions. but we forget how important it is to practice that dreaming when young!
we are working this year to balance our wishes/wants with being grateful for what we have and that we can’t have it all.
My girls want a hamster really bad. They have decided that if I wont buy it they will just ask Santa…what now?
I once said something like that to my daughter, about Santa not affording something, and she looked ay me like…duh, and said, Mom, Santa MAKES the toys!
Awwww, what a sweet post!
It’s hard to just let go sometimes. So glad you guys were able to enjoy the Wal-Mart catalog!
Great post! I remember the Sears book and circling things too!
I think we’ve all said things like that to our children. This Halloween, the Tongginator figured out that the Candy Fairy was really (ahem) me. She’s four. Way to go, momma.
I think we’ve all done that from time to time. I might be the grand empress as my kids are older. Good new…they don’t seem to be requiring therapy…yet…
Catalog dreaming was big at our house, too… I grew up in the last recession we had during the 80s on a farm hit hard with impossible to pay back interest rates. But I never knew it. I never knew we were poor. Mom and Dad just let us look and dream. That said, it’s not all bad for kids to learn that some things are just too expensive, either. What a sweet post. Here’s to wishes and dreams. Cheers!
We looked thru the Target book this am!
Very insightful –
Great post. I too remember the Sears Wishbook. Do they still come out with that every year?
I agree with your take on negativity passing down. I’m a worrier, and my mom is even worse at worry about everything. And, my Grandma is the very worst. I think this was all learned and passed down in my family.
(((Hugs))) Glad that you and EB were able to bond with the new catalog. I have memories of looking at the old catalogs when I was little and trying to figure out what I wanted to ask for my birthday and Chanukah.
Sad thing today my son actually asked to LEAVE Toys R Us. I wanted to take his temperature and ask what was wrong. Very strange.