I’m 48 years old and finally learning how to be a homemaker. I thought once I was no longer working, I would have the time and energy to be 100% devoted to keeping our home, cooking better meals, and just having our house in order. I didn’t factor in how my health would impact these lofty goals and plans.
This is not my first rodeo being a homemaker. Sixteen years ago, I left my first job in education and decided to stay home with our then two-year-old son. That’s when this blog was born! During that time, I felt like I was in survival mode. We struggled financially without my salary, and our son was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder a year later. Each day was spent keeping the laundry going and meals going, and in quite a bit of loneliness as my husband was an over-the-road truck driver, and we only saw him every two weeks for four days at a time. My son eventually started kindergarten, and I went back to work full-time, and life has been a whirlwind ever since. I don’t really feel like I ever mastered homemaking during that crazy but wonderful time.
I Want To Come Home
When my health started declining six years ago, I would be at work dreaming of being a homemaker again. I was truly burning the candle at both ends. Work was exhausting. My days started at 4 AM, waking up in plenty of time to get myself ready, get the teen up and going, and leave the house at 6:45 for the 20-minute commute to be at work before 7:30. If it were Friday, I’d have to be on duty in the school cafeteria at 7 AM. I’d arrive home by 4 PM most days, tired and pushing to get through the evening routine of preparing a meal, making sure the laundry was kept going, spending time with my kid, and then going to bed to do it all over again.
In my mind, If I could just be at home, I was going to do everything 100% better. Our house would be spotless, I could have delicious meals waiting when hubby arrived home, and I wouldn’t have to feel so pulled in so many directions in life.
The Reality of Being a Homemaker
So how’s that working out for me?
Well. I’d like to say the house is spotless and decluttered, and meal plans are made. In reality, I’m struggling and mad at myself and wondering why I just can’t seem to get it together already! Naturally, I turned to Google to seek out homemaker blogs and see how other women were managing to do it all in their homes. I have been reading quite a lot of these blogs, and I suddenly had an epiphany.
I’m pretty sure I know the root of this confusion. I don’t have any set routines beyond the daily carpool duty. I’m bad about staying up late to watch YouTube videos or read blogs. I also tend to want to tackle cleaning in one fell swoop instead of chunking tasks into different days. I don’t have any goals. I mean, before deciding to stay home, my main goal was just to make it through each day. I don’t have a plan, and I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
So, Now What?
So now I have a plan. I’m researching how to be a homemaker. I’m listening to homemaking podcasts. I have a goal to complete a couple of fall cleaning and decluttering challenges that I’ve found from some other bloggers kind enough to share their routines and methods for maintaining their homes. I’m excited to start, and I will share my progress here on the blog.
With that being said, what’s your best homemaking tip?
I’ve been going back and reading a lot of your older posts today, trying to get caught up and get to know you better. I’m amazed at how many things you talk about that I relate to, like this post. I absolutely struggle with homemaking. I worked 30+ years in a factory, the last 10+ years were 12-hour shifts. I quit working 3 years ago and, like you, thought everything would be amazing and wonderful. Ha, nope!
I realize now that my own homemaker struggles start farther back. My mom was a stay-home mom, raising 6 kids, while my dad worked long hours. My mom kept a very clean house, but never really taught us how to do that. I am the 5th child, 1st daughter. With the boys she probably figured there was no point, and by the time I was old enough I’m quite sure she felt it was easier to just shoo us outside to play. So no, things were never taught, never passed down.
I used to think it was crazy to think I struggle because I was never taught how to clean. But now that I’m home and still can’t seem to figure this stuff out, I really do think it goes back to my childhood. I’m like you were, thinking that taking a day to do it all was the norm, instead of breaking it up throughout the week. I also have some hard feelings about the fact that my menfolk really didn’t help much during all those years and I, like my mom, didn’t make them help.
I quit working 3 years ago and am STILL struggling to figure out this stuff! Maybe I need to start looking up homemaking blogs and channels too.
Yep, I thought leaving work would be all peaches and cream. HA! 🙂 While I think it was the right decision for me health-wise, I sure do miss my routine and my students so badly. I’m struggling with finding the new norm. My mom taught me how to clean, but I hold myself to impossible standards, which sometimes discourages me more. Argghh!! LOL!
30 years! You’ve certainly worked for a long while. You deserve not to work so hard now! But yes, finding a routine for cleaning is a struggle I can relate to.
After COVID in July, I’m learning to love homemaking. I didn’t like it because I can’t do it very well. Now I have discovered that I was doing everything too quickly, without attention.
I made a fresh start. But I am extremely slow. I think this is a nice, honest blog post and I suddenly no longer feel alone in this. So thank you, I’ll keep checking 🙂
Can you give me a link to a good podcast on this topic, Mandy?
Hé Aritha! Je MOET Hattie Homemaking opzoeken… ze is een van mijn favoriete podcasts voor het maken van huiswerk. Ze bevindt zich in Engeland, geloof ik, en ik vind het erg leuk om naar haar te luisteren, evenals naar een nummer dat At Home With Sally heet.